On the last day of 2007, a few desperate minutes before the day ends, I realize I don't want to leave the blog archives without the link 'December 2007', so here I go!

2007 was good, to be fair. Internship was torturous, but the team was lovely; Ahmedabad was amazing, yet we left it and came back to good ol' Chennai; the final year's first sem troubled me to no end, yet there were so many fun moments;

2008 is, right now, the most important year in life! 2008, hey, you better be good.. FYP, the Honours degree, a job, and so many things I can't think of now with my sleepy mind, all better turn out well - oh, they will, Nadakkapovadhum nandragave nadakkum!

Happy New Year, people! May this year be the best yet for y'all too!

My hands shiver. My head pounds. I look around at the people around me, at the posters of the Tennis greats punching the air in victory. I’m here to watch a Tennis match played by my favourite sportsperson in the world. I pinch myself hard to see if I actually am here. I want to scream out loud, in joyous rapture, as the guy starts to talk. And I just did. Scream my heart out. I’m here, I’m going to watch them play, my first favourite with my second. God bless, one of my dreams is just coming trues.

So I wrote at the stadium, hands shivering as I wrote on the backside of the ticket of the ‘Clash of Times’, Pete Sampras vs Roger Federer. ‘Clash of Titans’ would have been better.
I’m back, my throat hurts and my head spins. I’m giddy with happiness from watching Sampras play, and even though he lost, to me, he was the clear winner yesterday – after all, the whole stadium gaped in awe at his play, at his tenacity to hold on against someone reigning today, 10 years younger than him.

After a plethora of shows of Malaysian culture, I screamed my head off as Sampras entered the stadium and spoke. Bloody hell, I’m seeing him and I’m hearing him talk. Live. Sampras, visibly older (what with the bald patch and the receding hairline!), still exuding unimaginable charm. He chose to serve first after winning the toss, and I held my breath to see it – this was it, Sampras’s absolutely-brilliant-out-of-the-world-unbeatable serve. As the game moved on and I sat at the edge of the seat in danger of falling off, watching the ball simply glide off his racquet and go straight into Federer’s court, I simply couldn’t speak. Many a time, Federer was simply struggling to return his serve (ACE!), or returning it awkwardly in a failed attempt to prevent an Ace, (OUT!) and sometimes, managing to hit it. What I initially thought was a horrible side to sit in (where I thought I would only be able to watch one of the player’s back), was a brilliant one too – though I was only 5 rows away from the last, I could watch the game beautifully.

Sampras, Sampras – he was in a mood for fun. Be it the celebratory jig when he won a difficult point, or the comical slap on his forehead thrice, or the wanton funny miscommunication between him and ball boys, or even the silly fight with the line umpire for a point – he was a person whose mannerisms I have never seen on court from him before. Charming, absolutely.

And the strength of his serves, goodness! While Sampras regularly topped at 210 kph and over (peaking at 218 kph), Federer’s best was just 200 over. And the grace, oh, I could just fall on Sampras’s feet.

Sampras was calm, cool and easy, and so was Federer, playing a natural game. Guess both knew they were here for fun, just that at the end of the day, it looked like Sampras had had all the fun, and Federer, the winner, a serious game.

Of course, needless to say, FedEx was great too, managing to win the tie-breaker both the times. As Sampras said later, he saw Federer use volleys that he had never seen or used before – and this, from a player who is said to be the king of Serve and Volley! I’m still bloody surprised Federer didn’t manage to break Sampras’s serve .. Sampras wouldn’t let him, haha. And for Sampras, that speaks volumes of his quality of play. Why Federer won yesterday, according to me, was the sheer strength and stamina his age afforded him. I don’t know if he wasn’t taking the game seriously and that’s why he didn’t play an aggressive game, and God forbid, no, the match wouldn’t have been fixed. It wasn’t exactly a game where Federer particularly had to display much class – all of it was clearly stolen by Pete. I have to admit that as much as I love Pete, I expected he would lose earlier (and easily) to Federer – thank God, that wasn’t bound to happen on a day I watched him play. Sampras, is truly a class apart. Federer might just beat Sampras’s record in less than 6 months, but it’ll be years before there will be another Sampras. Or perhaps, there might never be. Thanking God a million times for giving me a chance to watch them play, to watch a demigod I’ve known ever since I was 5 give his best against the reigning champion.

Saawariya? Nalla kaettan. Konnutan, SLB.
I have to warn you there may be spoilers ahead, and.. oh, wait... there's hardly any story. Never mind, just read on if you will.

Not so long ago, there was a director who made movies which were critically acclaimed, winning National Awards, and so on. And then he made Devdas, a glitzy, filled-with-grandeur-and-big-stars-and-similar-sounding-songs, nevertheless-wildly-successfuly movie, which (unfortunately) beat many other good movies to be India's selection to the Oscars. And he bounced back with Black, brilliance. And now he's back with a miserable fare, just yet.
For those of you who may not know yet, the story is an adaptation of Dostoevsky's 'White Nights', a short story written by him in 1848, of a young lady waiting for her lover to return. Right, it's a short story that has been tortorously stretched to a 2 1/2 hour movie by SLB.
For those of you who have seen Iyarkai in Tamil, trust me when I say that movie was a brilliant adaptation with the same storyline base. What a budding director could do in Iyarkai, SLB failed because of his emphasis on all the wrong things.

So where do I start? At the mind-boggling frequency at which the actors break into a song and dance, at the tenacity of the lead actor to irritate you with his I'm-like-your-son-Lillipop-trust-me and oh-I'm-happy-you-loved-me-at-least-for-a-moment-dear kind of dialogues (seriously, when will Hindi movies grow out of such sentiments??!!), at the sets that make me wonder whether the movie was set in Thailand (there's a huge Buddha) or Baghdad (the mosques a la the Alaadin cartoon's city) or the bars (as in the 1960s or 70s) and yet people appear to be speaking in a more contemporary tongue (I swear, Okay Bye and exchange contemporary Indian currency), or.. phew, you're getting tired, I know.

SLB might as well have made a theatre production instead of a movie! What's with all these sets? Always dark, gullies as in cities in India in the 70s, a picturesque bridge in the middle of nowhere, boats a la Venice taking people from one end of the water body (river? lake? *shrugs*) to the other, roads like in Rome with those huge stones and all, seriously, what was he thinking! It was beautiful in the beginning, and I was awed, but after 20 minutes, it seriously was becoming an eyesore. And the number of times it rained in the movie, oh my God! As my friend put it, 'I think this place is in Meghalaya!' And the shining bulbs and the artistic lighting - as friend said again 'They must have spent at least a crore on electricity alone!' (It's these comments that kept me up through the movie :) )

The hero, Ranbir Raj, 'you can call me Raj'. God, what an agony. Be it his sentimental dialogues, the irritatingly-sticky way he kept pursuing people, his constant talking, and not to forget his semi-nude dance in the towel (an item song for girls, as the friend put it) where he dangerously brandished his towel and let it slip so we could see his taut backside (excuse me!), he was unbearable throughout the movie. And uhh, he looks girly. If not for his semi-nude-towel-act, I wouldn't have gotten a very good opinion of him (nicely toned body! :P).
All the girl did was to cry or laugh like a maniac. I mean, she's worse than me when she laughs :) There's Rani Mukherjee too, as a prostitute, and SLB has spent in gorgeously making up all the women in the red light area, and making them look a little scary, too. There's Salman Khan too, and he looks like a terrorist. He's the mystery man, who impresses the girl because he's sitting in pouring rain and doing his namaz dutifully :) No, girls don't get impressed with just such things in life, before men start getting other ideas.

The music (except, probably, the title song) hardly stayed on in the mind. So much for the lead being a 'rockstar singer'. The dance sequences and songs, typical of Bhansali, were very grand and very theater-ish. Okay, I haven't really seen an opera really, but I've seen them on TV, and this is what they look like. I'm sure this was how Bombay Dreams would have been.

It's just sad that somebody capable of more than this has given such a disappointing movie. His movies, if nothing, at least had very strong characters - the brilliant near-childish and tenacious Ash in HDDCS and her slightly-anguished yet willing to bear it husband in Ajay Devegan, an egoistic drunk in Shah Rukh, a strong-willed deaf-mute-blind in Rani in Black, and of course Amitabh in the same - where did this strength go in this movie? The characters are weak, and not once are you able to sink in with them in the movie, or feel.

I have been really critical and all that, but seriously, I spent three hours on this when I had to be studying for exams, and it's totally not worth it. Sigh, how will I make up for these lost hours!

My advice: Don't spend your time. If you're really a grandeur fan, watch it on DVD later.

It was the last day of internship. Oh, those good old last days of internship in June.
I'm delighted, everything looks rosy, I'm grinning from ear to ear. I walk to the bus stop at 7 40 am, for the last time in months to come, to be an organization's employee.
An Indian guy comes to the bus stop, someone I don't know. Postgrad student, I tell myself.
I'm smiling away to glory anyway. I sit in the bus stop, waiting for my friend to join me, munching on my toast.
Some minutes later, the guy looks at me, and asks,
'So how long have you been here?'
I stare at him, totally puzzled. What a weird thing to ask when you're speaking to someone for the first time in your life? Nevertheless, I decide to answer.
'3 years?' I say, throwing him a quizzical look, wondering why on earth he wants to know.
'What?!' He looks damn surprised.
'Oh, oh,' he says, after a moment's understanding. 'I meant in the bus stop?'
I burst out laughing, but I want to bash him hard for his amazing question at the same time.
'3 minutes,' I say, and both of us aren't embarrassed, as we are convinced the other is dumb :)

P.S.: It's study time again! I'm sitting in the library and blogging instead of studying :) Feels great!

I can see what's happened. What?
And they don't have a clue. Who?
They'll fall in love, and here's the bottomline.
Our trio's down to two. Oh.

It doesn't take me much effort to try to remember the first time I heard these words as part of what I spelled then as 'Loin King' soundtrack. It was a dim white tubelight-lit room in my uncle's house in Bombay. I remember the tracks were recorded in a cassette that also held Aqua's tracks, with my own version of the actual Aqua cassette cover drawn on a white paper and inserted in the cassette's front cover. And now, almost 12 years later, I listen to this song on my (new!) iPod, my dream for three years finally in my hands, the delicate, engraved darling.

Listening to music in an iPod is lovely for a number of reasons. First, it holds more songs than any portable music player I have had. Second, the songs are simply awesome to listen to on this. Konjam Nilavu is thrilling, Dil Se Re's silent chals-chals in the interludes amazingly evident, and the acoustic guitar in New York Nagaram's stanzas beautifully travel from one ear to another. Third, I've just wanted it for so long that it feels exhilarating to simply hold it in my hands. It's just becoming extremely difficult for me to maintain my composure and not spread my arms and break into a dance in the middle of the road or in the canteen queue.

The random order in which the songs play just transport me back and forth in time to when I heard the song first or of opinions/ideas I had of it then. Listening to Anjali Anjali (Anjali) today, I suddenly grew surprised at the amount of clarity the lyrics held for me now - has my Tamil significantly improved, or is it the truth that I've suddenly grown up enough to understand so many things? Music always holds associations for me, and this is being reinforced here with the iPod.

iPod is damn smart too. There was one evening when it was rainy and everything, and by some weird coincidence, for almost half an hour, every song either began with thunder or was about rain!

Just when I get all pullarichufied thinking of music and everything, iPod smartly plays 'Thank you for the music' (ABBA): 'Without a song or dance, what are we?'

.. marched 21 years!
Can't believe it's time for the last birthday on college campus already! And such a weird one at that that I even forgot to put a post in the dear blog!
The 21st year was simply a tossed-about mixture of every feeling possible! And as 22 dawns, life stresses, patience, patience, patience, it pays! Ah well, things finally have been good - even if they come after a good deal of trouble - and hope they stay that way!
Was loads of fun at midnight, thanks, dears on campus. The cake was yumm, and Jumbo and Lavy are damn cute! Pisa now has friends.

Throat hurts, limbs ache, you can't find your voice..
INDIA HAS WON THE T20 WORLD CUP!!!
Need I yell more with a voiceless voice? :D
Thank God I lived to see India win some world cup!!

If you did, 'Fire Away, Dinesh Karthik' was me!!!
I was on TV!!! Woohooo!!!!
More, later, if I am in the mood.

... if I jump for joy when someone I nearly blush over really appreciates my work? :D
I've got enough happiness-fuel to last me till the weekend.
Long live kutti sandoshams!

Do you know what it feels like, when you are neither happy, nor depressed, nor satisfied, nor angry, well, just feel nothing? Do you remember how it feels to be devoid of any emotion – feel the emptiness in you, hollow, and ringing? Telling you something that you just cannot understand or interpret in human terms?

I feel void. I want to escape, not because I’m irritated, or angry, or bored. I want something new. Someplace new. Some people I don’t know. People who just know my existence and acknowledge it. I want to sit in some far away meadow, where flowers are scattered across in my favourite colours. Purple, blue, white and red. Where there is one bird, just one bird, that sings from time to time. I want no sound except of the bird, and of water from a river quite far away. I want to lie down and stare at the sky, as it dawns, as the sun shines, as dusk returns, and as stars blink.

I don’t want to talk, I don’t want to meet people. I want a book. I want to remember my favourite songs so I can play them over and over in my head, and they sound pristine in that silent heaven.

I want to run away from the past and the future, forget life, school, job, final year project, deadlines. I want to be able to keep walking in this place, and still not see its end.

I want this surreal world, now. The room seems to be closing in on me, as does any thought, making the void inside resonate with the sound of emptiness.

Sigh, where can I find such a place but in my dreams?

Take me away.

I pride myself on the freedom of expression of opinion that India gives. If I am unhappy about something, I can freely write to a newspaper or magazine criticizing the people involved, blog about it, or go with a bunch of people and hold banners and march down the roads. I am happy that our newspapers brim with diversity of opinions and news. I am glad I can shoot a movie the way I want without pretty much getting a lot of it censored. I can shoot a movie about the political party I want to support and play it on TV. With a very few exceptions, I feel the government is quite doing well in granting me the freedom of expressing myself. But at what cost?

It is my fourth year in Singapore, and from the beginning of my stay here, I have been vaguely amused by the media and law here. My feelings have only become more appropriate now, in my final year, as I learn media law and read the hundreds of statutes that define seditious content, the word ‘obscene’ and party political films. As ever, I guffaw at what I consider a sad state of affairs when it comes to freedom of expression. There is only one noteworthy national newspaper, which likes the ruling government. Laws make sure the opposition is not anything to take note of. State television channels are a farce, as the government seems to have an invisible hand running it. People here do not really have many avenues to openly express what they feel, and in fact, not many even have anything to say. Three guys who blogged about an issue with ‘racist’ remarks were punished appropriately. Singapore is cautious, treading each step of its way with utmost concern, giving the government an absolute hand at handling people’s opinion, so that no situation arises that threatens the nation’s harmony and co-existence of the various races.

So on the one hand, we have India, that grants all its freedom, and is going far, yes, but still has way, way long to go in terms of development. On the other, we have developed Singapore, which has pretty much everything you need to lead a comfortable life – minus the privilege India grants. Even though I vehemently support the importance of having freedom of expression in my class, a doubt keeps creeping into my mind – is it worth it? India has achieved a great many things by granting this right, no doubt, but have we achieved what this right is for – development, peace? Have we taken for granted the right to speak up that seems to be running in our blood for centuries, been happy and smug about it, getting us pretty much nowhere in terms of the glorious vision of India as a developed nation?

Some answers please… a discussion could be enlightening!

Choice. How one simple word has enough potential to make you stop and think hard about something.
I stood there, torn between the two things drawing me to their sides. Is there really a choice? 'You always have a choice,' the words came to me. Said by some wise soul.
Soul. I had some soul-searching to do. Which would suit me? Both beckoned earnestly. I was at the boundary, given the tough job of choosing. My insides groaned. So did I.
My eyes wandered all over my immediate surroundings, looking for clues, cues, hints, to help me. That only made it worse, and I had to force myself to focus on my only two choices. Choose. Choice is a privilege, I knew. Not here. It killed me.
I closed my eyes. God, give me the power to decide. Give me the wisdom to choose the better option. Whichever would give meaning to my life, immediately. Is that asking for too much?
Someone slapped my back. I opened my eyes. 'Choose one, fast!' I heard.
Dairy Milk. Toblerone.
I'd rather be without a choice.

P.S.: Konjam kadi element popped up :P School's begun, and final year is no piece of cake. You have to do a final year project, study, apply for jobs, wonder how first years are getting hippier (:D) and worst of all, act like a responsible person. Losing my license to be myself at an alarming rate. What's to come?
And oh, did I tell you Chennaigal's family is back in Chennai, and Chennai is good ol' home again, and hopefully for a looong time to come? :)

Ever heard of an uneventful life going by at the speed of lightening? Heed mine. Doing hardly anything all day, but finding the days to head back to Singapore ticking off like that! (I clicked my finger to demonstrate - just so you know.)
Two (and a 1/2) books, two unfinished-hanging-at-the-point-of-action long short stories, random online final year project meetings, and recently accompanying mom on her craft class trips and dirtying my hand with ceramic and fevicol, all just describe these two weeks. Ahmedabad is thankfully back to its sweltering, stickily hot self - it's better than its dreary, always-raining form! And hot means ice creams! :D (which I have had only twice, sadly :( no time - I just described the paradox!)
And now there's Worldspace at home - it's a blessing, man! Shruti, the carnatic music channel is quite good, until the violin accompanists get so awful that the violin seems to be screeching into your ears and to quote a F.R.I.E.N.D.S-ism 'Makes me want to put my finger into my eye, through to my brain, and twirl it around!' Ok, that's taking it to an extreme, but I just want to change the channel, and that happens depending on my mom's mood :P. KL radio is decent too, playing either really-good songs, or awful-to-hear ones. Farishta plays old hindi songs, and is good at times too. Jhankaar, the new-Bollywood-Indipop channel, simply sucks. There are some good English stations too, like Voyager, UPOP, Orbit Rock and Top 40 (which I think plays the week's top 40 - just that, over and over again!) But considering that of ten songs they play, it's a surprise if I know 4, and also that the music will probably get on my mom's nerves, they're hardly played. But good, nevertheless.
We get two newspapers here, Indian Express and Times of India and both are pathetic. Indian Express is ridden with typos, and these buggers can't seem to differentiate between its and it's. Give me a break - it irritates me to see this error in some blogs, and on bloody newspapers, man, it's the last straw. And this, my friends, is the newspaper that has 'Journalism of Courage'!! Nothing but sensationalism, I say. But TOI beats I.Express on sensationalism hands down. Placement of news is awful, and less said about the way news is written, the better. Looks like these buggers don't know anything called the 'Pyramid of News Values' or they forgot their bloody Journalism 101 class stuff when they joined this awful newspaper. Even the quality of the physical paper is so bad that I don't even want to touch them when I flip through them. Ugh! I miss The Hindu badly.
I'm in the mood for more cursing - the wonderful people ruling our country and their petty politics, stripping a most deserving man of his post. Can any of the candidates plan India for 2020? Or have students thronging to meet the President? Answer questions intelligently? Walk over to the dias of a journalistic debate and bounce off questions and answers? Or visit my university and give a meaningful talk? We'll miss you, Dr Kalam. It was an honour to have you on our campus and personally, to take pictures of you from an arm's length away and write a news story on you.
What more.. it's been rather fun going with my mom to these craft classes and watching all the women talk away to glory in chatteringly-nonsensical hindi. There were even college-going and young girls who for some reason seemed to be preparing themselves to get married and stay at home to do all this - so I felt a little absurd to be in such company, but yeah since I won't be all that, I decided it doesn't matter :P
That's about it - I'm supposed to be doing research for my final year project, but I can't find relevant studies and so I have gotten bored. Guilt is tugging me to open the other window showing the results of my search on 'Social Presence Theory' .. yeah, I'll get there..

Archana shivered with delight. There, in her hand, was a little, outrageously expensive glass of Tequila. Her very first. She grinned with uncontrolled excitement.

‘It doesn’t look much different from water,’ she thought, ‘or maybe lime juice?’ She seriously wondered why it was this expensive. But she pushed those thoughts away. It was her 19^th birthday, and she would try this, no matter what.

She stared at the glass. Visions of men blabbering away in drunken glory loomed into view. Of men stumbling, unable to walk, as she had seen in movies. Of her classmates puking, like she had seen once in the hostel. And finally, of her parents, especially her mother’s horrified expression if only she came to know. But of course, she wouldn’t.

All the guys in the table had got what they wanted, and they all looked around. Kar looked at her, rubbing his hands in glee, and then picked up his glass, and said ‘To Archana’s health!’

‘Yo!’ screamed some.

‘Cheers,’ screamed others.

Archana smiled and put her glass down.

‘Maybe I shouldn’t do this?’ she asked herself.

‘Naah, go on,’ she told herself again.

She gingerly looked at the glass again.

‘To me,’ she told herself silently.

It was then she noticed the tiny thing in the glass. Something like the capillary tube in the chemistry lab. She picked it up and casually threw it out.

She then lifted the glass and saw how much of Tequila it held. Very, very less.

She put the glass to her mouth and gulped in one go.

She coughed and spat it out. Her friends looked at her.

‘Dear, dear, go slow!’ said Kar. The other guys bellowed with laughter.Archana, visibly shaken, managed a weak smile.

She looked at the glass again. It was almost empty. And she didn’t even know how it tasted!

Only a few drops left.

She opened her mouth again and shook the last few drops into her mouth, like she had just drunk something she absolutely relished.

She then licked her lips. No, not because it was tasty. It just didn’t really taste like anything to her. Almost tasteless, maybe slightly flavoured. Nothing special. But it burned her throat. Or maybe her mind was just making it up? Well, she really didn’t know why millions of people in the world went crazy over such a thing, tasteless, burning.

She stared blankly around as the guys finished up theirs. Buggers, most of them were ordering for more and more.

Suddenly, a fear gripped her. What if she were to puke too? And blabber incoherent things? Let out deep secrets? She shuddered, and announced ‘Let’s go, guys.’

The guys jeered. As expected. But they agreed. The nice guys, who wouldn’t want to offend her. In reality, nice guys who secretly feared Archana might just suddenly burst into tears in a fit of drunken crying if they didn’t leave immediately.

They got up, and Vik crashed to the ground. The other guys cheered as he staggered to his feet and got up.

Archana’s fears hit their peak (again). She started to walk, wanting to get to her room and to bed at the earliest.

‘Kar,’ she mumbled weakly, ‘what if I faint on the way?’

‘Don’t worry, we’ll take you to your room,’ he replied. The ever-steady Kar. ‘He isn’t even high,’ Archana thought, ‘and he had six drinks!’ And tripped.

Two guys rushed and pulled her up. Kar and Ray held her two arms and walked.

Archana, though ashamed, just limped on.

After what seemed an eternity, the guys opened her hostel room, and dropped her on the bed and left, throwing her purse on the chair. Archana curled up in bed, and pulled her covers over herself.

‘Get up, Aa-arch, you’re in the way!’ said some voice.

Archana looked up, dazed. It was Christie, the Mexican girl living in the next room. Archana was sleeping in the corridor, and three other people were watching her from two doors away.

She didn’t bother to ask how she got there. She quickly got up and rushed into her room.

All for a teeny, tiny glass of some tasteless, burning drink. Not worth it, she thought.

She went to the canteen after a shower. The guys were there.

‘Arch, all right?’ asked Kar cheerily.

‘Of course,’ Archana replied, not a bit of the embarrassment she had faced some time back apparent in her face or tone.

‘Well, now that you’re into it too, we were just thinking,’ he said, taking a bottle out of a DFS Galleria bag. Absolut. It looked like a bottle filled with clear, sparkling water.

He handed over the bottle to her. She opened it gingerly and sniffed.

She sneezed and threw the lid over. Kar got tensed and grabbed the bottle from her.

‘I, err, got to go,’ she said and awkwardly rushed out.

No more, she promised herself, and sneezed again. No more.

.. when I have to write a goodbye post to the last year!!
So, here comes to a close, all-important year 3, the year I began my 20 somethings, the year where I truly started earning and spent a whole semester paying for my expenses myself (and darn proud of it too!), when I realised I can be quite meticulous and detail-oriented too, and well, so on and so forth.
This year's seen a fair mix of good and worst times, times when I went to the brink of losing my prized possession - my optimism, but still managed to hang on a thread, which finally paid off! Getting an internship after two rejections from my dream jobs and then an interview with a Public Relations company (a field I totally disliked!) which finally took me in, took quite a toll on me. But looks like it was all for good - not only did i have an amazing time with my internship company, I got to know one of the agencies that didn't take me in was erm, torturing its poor interns. I scathed through, scarred, but guess I've emerged a little more resistant! I had great fun working with WS, despite the long hours, pissing-off requests from clients (that nearly convinced Public Relations is not for me!), slogging, slogging and even more slogging. The team, despite its sometimes-seemingly-inconsiderate requests (which I later got to sympathize with), was just delightful to work with. The icing on the cake was the MD of the company telling the whole office yesterday, during the Interns' farewell lunch, that he got to know talking to our client that this guy was pleased with my work, and knew me! (Ok,ok, it's quite a big deal for a client to know a lowly PR intern, just so you know!) Didn't someone say everything happens for a reason? :)
This was the year when my social circle in my univ expanded considerably, and with all the internship money coming in this sem, I went out quite a bit. The trip to Malaysia tops the list, and not to forget the food cooking sessions (mostly disasters?) and food-ordering-gumbala-eating sessions which were great fun! It was during this year I took a few important resolutions, after what seemed some tough times with people, almost leading to cynicism - lower your bloody expectations of everything! It not just makes life so much more easier to handle, it keeps you so much more happier, because you don't get disappointed! It's been working quite well, I say! Another one was to not complain - erm, ok, reduce it a bit, to be realistic! :D (Just so you don't go, 'After six months of posts which only moan, complain and bitch, she finally realized' :P )
Hmm, well, whatever; I've definitely become very easygoing on a lot of things, and my temper's hardly around compared to what it was before I came to Singapore - three cheers to that! I was also thrilled when my team mates said they loved my 'happy' outlook to everything - so hey, I am quite chirpy, yeah? :D
Anyway, here I am, 8 hours 15 mins away from my flight to heaven - HOME!!! Home per say is still quite a number of days away, but it's just 5 days before I can meet my mum and have the die-for rasam. Missed India too much this year. Going home once a year, totally is awful, so I'm never going to do it again! Adios, Singapore. Chennai, here I come! Madras-in raani pola vaaren!

At a time when I’m already swamped with work, a colleague comes and says, ‘Can I ask you a favour?’

Not another of these, I groan. Within, of course.

I pull my earphones off my ears and smile. ‘Sure, what can I do?’

I periodically nod, and diligently take notes to make sure I don’t forget anything.

Why me, and why today, I wonder. I had been quite jobless the last 3 days at work. Today, I had planned to work on my university research project. And I’m piled with work.

Why not the new intern, I wonder. I had started doing all this work within days of starting the internship, and she’s already been here quite a while. And poor thing, is quite jobless as well. Why not her?

And I put my earphones back on, and ‘Alaipayuthey kanna’ plays.

‘Idhu thagumo, idhu muraiyo, idhu dharmam thaano,’ the song goes.

I burst out laughing, much to the surprise of the others in my cubicle.

As I started out on the new work, juggling it with the old, I know, I’ll survive as long as I manage to laugh for the silliest things on planet earth.

11 more working days.

words and music still keep you together!
In a whirlwind of a month, which saw happy, delightful, depressing, painful times, some things - very few things - didn't change!
An amazing trip to an island beach in Malaysia, the beach, the swing (oh, how much I miss the damn thing!!) hard and lovely moments at work, books, my dormant novel slowly coming to life in bits and pieces, surprises - great and nasty ones, bursts of enthusiasm, rage, brooding, angry resolutions, excessive need to be by myself, not to forget the 3 days of limping after the snorkeling (mis)adventure in Malaysia when I stubbornly refused to allow my weakness to overpower me - whoa, was all April was about.
I'm delighted to announce that in another month and 2 days, yours truly will leave this freakin' place to come to India for a good month and a half - and will land in Chennai! However short the stay in Chennai might be, I can't wait to go, soak in the warmth of the city, its people, its crowd, its dirty streets, and most importantly, the life, the life's spice. 25 more working days, they'll pass. They'll pass. It's time for me to meet sane people and get sane again! Counting the days, counting 'em...

... here I am, with a post.
Warning: Moaning, bitching and possible worse stuff ahead. Really need to chill off!

So in that one month, so much has happened! I've been evaluated by my supervisor at work, been evaluated to pitching stories to media and asking them to cover something, with 2 more people not in the working team anymore, more work on my plate, and FINALLY, a new phone!!! Say hi to my brand new flashy Nokia 6233 Music Edition!! It's white.. that's the only colour they have :(
Anyway, after I-don't-know-how-many months of planning and even deciding who gets which song for their ringtone, the phone is here! And guess what, it's been a week and I haven't got the bloody time to upload songs or ringtones to the phone! Ugh, I totally hate this! Not only does working suck, it sucks even more to come back and do a research project or start researching for your stupid Final Year Project. And to top it all, imagine having a Prof for your supervisor who is as unsteady as a cat on the wall - totally! I have no friggin' clue which side he'll jump and what he'll ask me to do next! Ever since I was given the opportunity to do the project and I chose to do his, I've been in trouble. Trust me, in a span on 6 months, a research project changing over 6 times isn't too nice.
While it's fun to get the measly pay check every last day of the month, it's seriously surprising how it vanishes before you realise you can spend it, and viola! your bank account has the same amount of money it had before you submitted the check. Don't even talk about 'spending my hard-earned money', and saving for the next sem, forget it. Working is expensive, man. As much as I hate it, I have to take care of what clothes I wear, which pair of shoes to go with which bag and all this shit. It especially sucks when you have older ladies among you who you think dress much better while you struggle to sit gracefully in a knee-length stupid black skirt, and of course, not to mention the shoes.
I've been watching a hell lot of movies, though, and that's extremely enjoyable. Watched 'The Namesake' yesterday. Brilliant adaptation from the book, I'd say. And amazing performances by all in the movie! I'm seriously beginning to like Kal Penn (Ok, the only other movie I've seen him in is 'Harold and Kumar..' ) Yeah, so judging by these two movies and the amazing change in the roles he's played in both, he seems to be a good actor! :D Wondering when I'll get to watch Provoked and of course, Sivaji. Can't wait for Sivaji. I seriously want to go watch a Rajni movie in the cinema and whistle and loudly clap and cheer.
On those auspicious days when I get to log on to Orkut and I see what a number of you guys have been up to, I feel totally sad. I have no idea what most of you are doing, and this is just so bad! Of course, I wasn't around that much to say even last sem, but at least that was better! Anyways, I'm coming HOME... SOON! Will most probably leave the night my internship ends.. and I will land in India in Chennai.. Woohooooo!!! Chennai, look out for me.. Gosh, will be there after a year ... so many things would've changed? I can't wait!!!

just to wish all a Happy Women's Day!!
Ladies, today's just for us to remember we're one of God's most precious creations.. and guys, don't stop with treating us nice for just today :D respect us everyday!!

Why is the human mind so complicated?
Why do we care too much about something unnecessary?
Why do we expect so much out of people?
Why does it take a lot to keep some people happy?
Why should we try to please people?
Who are others to judge me?
Don't the less complicated people make it great in life?

Questions, questions. If only I knew the answers! If only things (and people) around were much simpler to crack and decode!
But ah, what, then, would be the challenge in life?

For someone who hates talking over the phone, I'm blessed enough to do a lot of it at work. Calling up people and inviting them for our events, updating the company's list of media contacts (and getting yelled at by people who hate being asked their contact details), and doing audits of media's impressions of our client, and blah, is a stated work scope for me.

What at first seemed extremely irritating and mundane has now only become extremely irritating but slightly interesting. Calling up different people, listening to different accents, trying hard to figure out what they're saying, and worst of it all, being so nice to them over the phone ("Oh, hi, Andrew [yup, we get on first name terms very quickly], how're you, how was your vacation [we know they went on vacation].. [blah].. thanks so much, Andrew, you have a good day, ok?) and smiling so much your cheeks hurt is the exciting part of it. Your acting skills (or rather, voice modulation skills) totally come in handy and you improve them like crazy. Your voice becomes good enough to express a myriad of emotions - "Oh, I see, that's your company policy, no problem, Rose!", while you mutter curses under your breath.

Two incidents got me really doubling up laughing while on the phone. One was when I called up, asking if Mr Kim would be available to attend an event on Friday, only to be told she was on maternity leave. Gosh, unisex names! But there have been other times when I've mailed an invite to a "Ms" only to later call and find out it's a he.

Another was when I called to speak to a Mr Homiki (uhh, some Japanese name, I can't remember):
Me: Hi, this is Vani [blah].. can I speak to Mr Homiki?
Receptionist: Hi Vani, I'm sorry to inform you Mr Homiki has passed away!
Me (chokes): Oh my God, I'm so sorry.. (thinks for a few seconds as to what to say) errr.. when and how did this happen?
Receptionist: (I'm sure she was bugged to take condolence calls over an office phone for some random guy!) Anyone else you would like to talk to?

Oh, God only knows what more I have to endure. Maybe sometime soon they'll let me do media pitching, which is basically pestering media to come down and interview someone or cover some event, convincing them how it is useful for their publication/channel. Who knows, there are 16 weeks left!!

4 weeks into my internship and I’m ready to pass on my gyan to fellow mortals on the earth:

• Never say ‘I hate shopping’ when your supervisor takes you to DKNY to choose a dress for a wedding.
• Never show excitement on the ‘60% off – Levi’s sale’ when they’re excited about Nine West’s shoe sale (where, incidentally, $150 shoes after discount make them go ‘whoooo!’)
• Never give frank opinions – smile and go ‘Wow, you must get this!’ even when the shoes are hideously-golden and oh-my-god-how-can-you-walk-on-these heels.
• If there is a way to leave the office without the concerned being able to see you, always use it.
• When asked why you don’t drink (in case you don’t), never say ‘It smells bad’. Instead think of other ways like ‘The smell is strong and gives me breathing problems’
• Never loudly choke/cough if someone who smokes stands next to you and talks to you. Instead, hold your breath and nod to show that you’re paying attention.
• Never chuckle when they make fun of someone else. Who knows, they may be making fun of you when you’re not there, and it stings to know someone else is chuckling like you, at you!
• Never, ever give it away that you’re jobless. Even if you have nothing to do, just pick up a relevant report and pore over it. Make notes, highlight, say you’re learning more about the client. Walk hither and thither, to and from the photocopy room. But never let them catch you jobless. If they ask ‘Are you busy?’, say ‘A bit; anyways, what’s it? I can try to do it when I’m done with this!’
• If you think you have a better way of doing something, make sure the relevant person hears it, not the one who gives you that work to do, because not many people are fond of listening to interns coming up with smart ideas.
  

More to come. Watch out! Work is good. Even though the pay is not quite satisfactory and I have to stay back at times, looks like they’re finally starting to trust me and give me other work than just photocopying/printing stuff. Well yeah, 20 weeks left. I’ve been counting ever since day one, so don’t look at the 20 weeks and go ‘I knew it; she’s crazy!’

Before I start, a 'Hail' to all people who work. To all those who leave for work in the morning, come back late in the evening and go to sleep, just to wake up and go to work again. And an even bigger salute to the mums who not only work all day, but come back and cook. Gosh!
2 weeks old in my internship, and I'm already wondering how I'll tackle life when I graduate and have to work to live! More than the work itself, or the part of waking up early, or traveling, is the torture called monotony. Life is so monotonous, that I feel there is hardly anything to look forward to (except of course, reaching my room, eating and sleeping, and yeah, the weekend - which miraculously vanishes!!).

And within just 3 days, my new life has formed a habit. Everything seems to go on unconsciously - the car of the travel is always one of the last three, this car stops near the stairs in the station I get down, the way I take to reach the office building, where I look at the pictures of the 'Male' and the 'Female' in the washrooms (and wonder at the stereotypes - the man all funky looking, and the woman wearing the lipstick looking at a hand-mirror), chuckling at the MasterCard ad playing in the lift, and missing the bus to campus when I return, with the result I wait for quite some time in painful formal shoes (which are painful even though they are absolutely flat!).

Life isn't bad, but it's so monotonous, that I wonder if all this is even worth the trouble - studying, getting a good job, getting married, and so on. Is that all there is to life? I realise with shock that there is just one more year left in university, and then my fun days are over. My sister says life in your early 20s is fun, because you start earning, live independently (well, mostly!) and enjoy with friends! But what's the point if the only time I get to spend with friends or with the things I buy are only a couple of hours at night, before I realise (with shock, again!) that it's time to go to bed so that you can go early the next day and complete the press release so it goes on time to the media? Whoa!

Yeah, I know.. I'm ranting off like a crazy woman, but I'm seriously contemplating retiring by the age of 35 and to start writing books, or freelance :D

Now, those of you who find it really funny and haven't started working yet, I'd say, hey, every dog has its day. You'll realise sometime soon. And to those of you who find it funny but are working, I'd only say you're so used to this monotony and vicious circle that you don't even realise it. To those of you who laughed and don't or won't work, I'd say you're missing something!
And if you didn't laugh and totally sympathise with me, God bless you.

My blog turned 2 yesterday! It's a pity I realised that only when I was talking to a friend in passing about the blog! And suddenly, I realised I have been religiously (well, almost!) checking it regularly and so on. Of course, it's taken a beating now that I've started my internship and only have time to return, eat and get back to sleep after choosing what to wear the next day, sigh. Life's sooooo monotonous now, I wonder how it'll be when I start working full time!!

So, two people have tagged me now, and for the lack of patience to type anything else, I take this one. WA and Sandhya tagged me to declare to the world, 5 things it didn't know about me.... Let's see...

1) There are some things I wouldn't tell anyone but my cute blue book. The book has seen it all, floating-in-the-clouds times, thrilled, excited times, disappointed times, angry times (I like to run my hand across the page after I've written on it, to see the impression it's made - it's like a measure of my anger!)

2) My good impression of a person goes down drastically when I realise she/he smokes. I don't know why, but I can never be a good friend of such a person - there's always some distance! Before I came to Singapore, I used to feel the same way about people who drink, but well, 3 years away from home changed my opinions. But I haven't met any totally drunk person, so let's reserve judgment till then! :D

3) I hate girls who dress up fashionably and wear make-up. I hate girls who even dress up or wear heels. I hate make up. It takes a lot of convincing to get me to wear anything other than compact and kajal to work. And I detest heels, and I hate girls for making them a norm. Whatever happened to simplicity, natural beauty et al.?

4) Music runs every minute of my waking hours, when I'm not talking. If it's not playing, I'm humming or singing in my mind :P Finally came to know yesterday that I can play music when I'm working, as long as others don't hear it!

5) I love to walk. If there's a person with me who I'd love to talk to, or my music player by some strange coincidence guesses my mood and plays the appropriate songs, I just feel like I'm in heaven. Oh, that said, it's very easy to make me smile, make me happy or change my mood. Something as stupid as a song listened to after long, or an ice cream can send me into screams of delight!

I guess almost everyone I know of has been tagged! Anyway, let me try - f2f, Bhargavi, Chaos Budha and...
err, no, I really can't think of more people! :D